I know that I’ve been rather inconsistent here, being back on that school grind has left me little time to share my insights with all of you fine people; so the fact that I’m taking time out of the drowning waters of reading and research to share this life-changing moment with you speaks volumes to its influence in my life.
Today, my fifteen-year (fictitious) love affair with the one-and-only Mr. JT aka Justin Timberlake came to a heart-breaking end! He is now a married man.
I, like many fans out there, had a huge crush on Justin when I was growing up. Everybody who’s had the chance to be in my orbit knows that he has been my Ultimate Crush. Of course there have been other crushes of the celebrity variety such as Ryan Gosling and Paul Walker to name a couple, but they always paled in comparison to Justin. He was it.
I was so in love with Justin, that I was beyond obsession. I was over-it-and-back-down-to-normal obsessed. I didn’t need posters all over my room or excessive amounts of N*SYNC paraphernalia to prove that I was hardcore. (I wasn’t allowed to put up posters anyway, but I do have a healthy pile of magazines with him on the cover in my closet.) I had a higher power on my side, destiny. In the back of my mind I knew that no matter how many girls he dated, he was either going to marry me or Britney Spears; we were the only two choices. I’m serious.
To quote the timeless N*SYNC song “Tell Me, Tell Me…Baby”:
We were born the same day, we even think the same way, couldn’t be more right, we are what they all call a perfect match, something that you can’t touch, down to the last bone you’re my baby
A verse ironically sung by Justin, took the words right out of my then 12-year-old mouth. As I mentioned previously, this affair has stood the test of time, 15 years. I first laid eyes on Justin in the summer of 1997, I was eight years old, and N*SYNC had their first-ever televised concert on the Disney channel. I loved his dance moves, his voice, and of course his bleach-blond hair. It was epic. I was sold, from that moment forward I was a dedicated N*SYNC fan, I fought for them every time the girls at school claimed that the Backstreet Boys were better. Every single time, and there were many heated debates and temper tantrums over the matter.
We’ve been through thick and thin, from Model Behavior and Justified to the wardrobe malfunction debacle and SNL hilarity to FutureSex/LoveSounds; I’ve been there. I’ll admit that I strayed for a time, I realized that my Sweetheart was no Thespian. I could not bring myself to watch his movies, but being the true fan that I was, I could look beyond this valley that was his acting. I was just happy he was still putting his beautiful out there so that I could see it. (Minor digression, he is getting MUCH better, Friends with Benefits and Trouble with the Curve showed surprising and amazing improvement.)
Today marks the beginning of a new stage in my relationship with Justin. While I am happy for him, I am also saddened by his loss to my heart. It’s going to take me some time to figure out this new turn of events in both of our lives. Learning to let go of a fifteen-year-old dream takes time and maybe a couple rounds of guy bashing over drinks and chocolate with friends or alone, whatever.
Time of heart-break 2:20 PM ET, Friday October 19, 2012.
I will always be a fan and truly wish him and Jessica nothing but the best. Marriage is hard and takes a lot of work, hopefully they can stand the test of time.
…but just in case, for some reason it doesn’t, I’ll be right here.